Monday, May 28, 2012
Please...don't forget what Memorial Day really means
Hello, everyone. Before I write out my musing for the day, please remember to thank an active duty servicemember or a vet for all they do. If you have a vet in your family that is no longer with you, please take the time to remember them. Thank you. :)
Sunday, May 27, 2012
100% Homegrown Hypocrisy
Hypocrisy sucks. But....it usually begins in the home. If you say that neither you nor your family members have ever been hypocrites, you're full of shit.
I'm going to point out a few shining examples of this today: Uncle Racist (Mom's brother) and Trucker Puke.
I'll start with Uncle Racist, since there's more going on with him. He certainly lives up to the psuedonym I've given him: I was convinced that he invented just about every racial slur known to man...well, he definitely used every one of them, anyway. My parents weren't too worried about us using any of them; we would get our asses kicked from Minneapolis to New York and back.
While we were still living in our old house, this douchebag was going through a divorce. He'd call Mom up every night and whine and cry over it. He didn't seem to care that she had to work or have kids of her own to worry about, or anything resembling a daily routine. Like clockwork, he'd call her up with the crocodile tear act. After a bit, she'd complain about he was driving her nuts. I even said something about telling him to shut up, but she'd go on about he's her brother and he needs her. Having someone to vent to is nice, but even that becomes old hat.
And during this peaceful period of calling her and stirring shit up, my cousins came to our house almost every day. That too, was also growing old. He would drop them off without any idea of when they'd leave. It varied from a couple of hours to all day, sometimes they would even spend the night.
Before we moved to our farm house, this place made a sardine can look like a five-star hotel. (I exaggerate, but it was really cramped.) Squeezing my parents, the three of us and the five demon spawn into this tiny house for night after night was never the best experience.
It made me wonder....if the folks were sick of helping him out, why keep doing it? If my brothers and I were being idiots like that, we would be told to kick rocks.
But, it wasn't just the divorce crap that they helped him with (the unexpected visit finally stopped). I lost track of how many times Dad would fix his van or pick him up or give him a lift somewhere. Again, if we pulled all this crap, we'd be told where to go after one time too many. But, for some strange reason, Dad, with all his grumbling, would still help the son of a bitch out. One time, it nearly got Dad killed.
Dad brought Uncle Racist to a store to get something. The store was just robbed prior to them getting there. When they left, they got pulled over by the cops. The cops thought they robbed the place; an eyewitness said they didn't do it. The lucky part? Dad was driving a truck at the time that backfired very loud when the motor was shut off. If the cops had made him turn off the truck, we would've lost Dad a lot sooner than when we did.
After that incident, you'd think that would've been the end of that crap. But, it continued ever after we moved, albeit in smaller quantities.
Now on to Trucker Puke.
This is probably the ONLY guy on the planet that has the capability of making Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh look like refined gentlemen. He creeped me out, my brothers barely spoke to him. But, my parents apparently developed a soft spot for the loser, just as they did with Uncle Racist. He was actually the ex-nephew-in-law of a friend down the road, I guess that's why they'd do some things for him.
Anyway, he was an over the road trucker who didn't have a lot of friends (makes you wonder why). He would either go to his former uncle's to eat and/or shower, or he would show up at our place for the same things.
At first, the parents were okay with giving him a hand once in a while. Them he started showing up almost all the time. He seemed to have honed his sense of smell or something, because when we would sit down to eat, like clockwork, he would appear, ready for his share.
This routine got really old. Mom and Dad would start to complain about him being a sponge, yet still allowing him to get away with it. They had no problems with telling us, their own kids, no. Somehow, they failed to tell this creep the same thing.
That all came to a head when my parents went somewhere, and we stayed home. They told us that we were NOT to let anyone in until they got back. Simple enough order to follow, right? A short while after they left, who shows up but Trucker Puke himself.
He wanted us to let him in, but since we were home alone, it wasn't going to happen. Consequences be damned, I opened the door long enough to tell him to come back later, then slammed it in his face. I wasn't concerned about what my parents would do; I just wanted him to stop coming over. Of course, they got mad at once they found out. I argued that they didn't want anyone inside when were home alone, that I was simply doing what I was told. They saw right throught that. I told them that it wasn't doing anyone any good to complain about him behind his back, then let him pull the stunts that he'd been pulling on us for months. I think they decided after a while to put a halt to the bullshit. We saw him less and less (which was okay by me), until he stopped coming by.
What did I take away from all of this? I decided that I wouldn't let anyone (family or otherwise) get away with taking advantage of me. If saying "no" makes me look like a bitch, then I'll be the world's biggest bitch.
I'm going to point out a few shining examples of this today: Uncle Racist (Mom's brother) and Trucker Puke.
I'll start with Uncle Racist, since there's more going on with him. He certainly lives up to the psuedonym I've given him: I was convinced that he invented just about every racial slur known to man...well, he definitely used every one of them, anyway. My parents weren't too worried about us using any of them; we would get our asses kicked from Minneapolis to New York and back.
While we were still living in our old house, this douchebag was going through a divorce. He'd call Mom up every night and whine and cry over it. He didn't seem to care that she had to work or have kids of her own to worry about, or anything resembling a daily routine. Like clockwork, he'd call her up with the crocodile tear act. After a bit, she'd complain about he was driving her nuts. I even said something about telling him to shut up, but she'd go on about he's her brother and he needs her. Having someone to vent to is nice, but even that becomes old hat.
And during this peaceful period of calling her and stirring shit up, my cousins came to our house almost every day. That too, was also growing old. He would drop them off without any idea of when they'd leave. It varied from a couple of hours to all day, sometimes they would even spend the night.
Before we moved to our farm house, this place made a sardine can look like a five-star hotel. (I exaggerate, but it was really cramped.) Squeezing my parents, the three of us and the five demon spawn into this tiny house for night after night was never the best experience.
It made me wonder....if the folks were sick of helping him out, why keep doing it? If my brothers and I were being idiots like that, we would be told to kick rocks.
But, it wasn't just the divorce crap that they helped him with (the unexpected visit finally stopped). I lost track of how many times Dad would fix his van or pick him up or give him a lift somewhere. Again, if we pulled all this crap, we'd be told where to go after one time too many. But, for some strange reason, Dad, with all his grumbling, would still help the son of a bitch out. One time, it nearly got Dad killed.
Dad brought Uncle Racist to a store to get something. The store was just robbed prior to them getting there. When they left, they got pulled over by the cops. The cops thought they robbed the place; an eyewitness said they didn't do it. The lucky part? Dad was driving a truck at the time that backfired very loud when the motor was shut off. If the cops had made him turn off the truck, we would've lost Dad a lot sooner than when we did.
After that incident, you'd think that would've been the end of that crap. But, it continued ever after we moved, albeit in smaller quantities.
Now on to Trucker Puke.
This is probably the ONLY guy on the planet that has the capability of making Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh look like refined gentlemen. He creeped me out, my brothers barely spoke to him. But, my parents apparently developed a soft spot for the loser, just as they did with Uncle Racist. He was actually the ex-nephew-in-law of a friend down the road, I guess that's why they'd do some things for him.
Anyway, he was an over the road trucker who didn't have a lot of friends (makes you wonder why). He would either go to his former uncle's to eat and/or shower, or he would show up at our place for the same things.
At first, the parents were okay with giving him a hand once in a while. Them he started showing up almost all the time. He seemed to have honed his sense of smell or something, because when we would sit down to eat, like clockwork, he would appear, ready for his share.
This routine got really old. Mom and Dad would start to complain about him being a sponge, yet still allowing him to get away with it. They had no problems with telling us, their own kids, no. Somehow, they failed to tell this creep the same thing.
That all came to a head when my parents went somewhere, and we stayed home. They told us that we were NOT to let anyone in until they got back. Simple enough order to follow, right? A short while after they left, who shows up but Trucker Puke himself.
He wanted us to let him in, but since we were home alone, it wasn't going to happen. Consequences be damned, I opened the door long enough to tell him to come back later, then slammed it in his face. I wasn't concerned about what my parents would do; I just wanted him to stop coming over. Of course, they got mad at once they found out. I argued that they didn't want anyone inside when were home alone, that I was simply doing what I was told. They saw right throught that. I told them that it wasn't doing anyone any good to complain about him behind his back, then let him pull the stunts that he'd been pulling on us for months. I think they decided after a while to put a halt to the bullshit. We saw him less and less (which was okay by me), until he stopped coming by.
What did I take away from all of this? I decided that I wouldn't let anyone (family or otherwise) get away with taking advantage of me. If saying "no" makes me look like a bitch, then I'll be the world's biggest bitch.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
A quick little disclaimer :)
Throughout the course of this blog (however long that may be), I will not be using real names. Although they act like idiots 99.9 % of the time, that doesn't mean that they don't possess the capabilities of filing lawsuits.
Does anyone out there know about the amazing concept of calling ahead?!!!
As I was surfing the internet, a memory came flooding back. The Weekend from Hell. No, seriously, it was that bad.
This happened when I was fourteen. We moved from the big city out to an 80 acre farm out in the middle of nowhere (to me, anyway). It started on a Friday night; my brothers and I stayed at home while my parents went out to some crappy wedding reception which they ended up paying $50 a plate. They couldn't really afford to go out, but their friend really wanted them there. :/
While they were out, one of my uncles called the house asking for directions. No one had a fucking clue that he was coming. If my folks knew he was dropping by, they would not have gone out at all. I freaked out over directions. I was just a kid; why the hell would I be paying ANY attention to what road you get off on and such, much less have the ability to get him on the right path. I ended up giving him the wrong directions (wish it would've been on purpose).
The fun part was next: calling the parents. Yeah....Mom and Dad were super thrilled to hear this lovely bit of information. They knew I wouldn't invite him, but they were already angry about spending $100 for a crappy dinner at a reception for a friend of a friend. Plus, we were broke that weekend. At this point, I can't recall if my uncle showed up first or my parents. O_o Doesn't matter now, it was still rude and inconsiderate.
The uncle shows up with the wife, three kids AND their two dogs. Luckily, for the sake of everyone's remaining shreds of sanity, they slept in their camper.
The next morning, Mom and I went to the resort to clean cabins. When we got back, lo and behold, ANOTHER uncle shows up, with his four kids and another kid from his wife's side of the family. Counting my brothers and I, plus the three cousins from the night before, AND five more kids plus one...packet...of Kool-Aid...a complete Weekend from Hell!
Camper Uncle finally felt bad enough to go get us groceries. Yeah, that was nice of him, but advanced notice would be even nicer. I could tell that Mom was fit to be tied. She held it in as best as she could, but give the poor woman a break. The other uncle had a cabin in the area (hence, I'll call him Cabin Uncle), so no more people were sleeping there for the weekend. Sadly, it wasn't the only time relatives would drop by unannounced, but it was the worst time, given the financial dire straits we were in.
These were all Dad's siblings that were doing this crap. They all (well, almost all) lived back in the cities and apparent missed us enough to the point of treating our house like a damned resort. Which is funny, because the most time I would spend with these people is at the various holiday get-togethers. Even that was too much time with them for me....
Anyway, we did the family hang out crap during that time. I dealt with it, but I couldn't wait for them to leave. I dont know exactly what Mom and Dad said to these people afterwards, but I do know that from then on, they called first.
The moral is: have enough consideration to call ahead of time. If you don't, you'll be in for a rude awakening. If you drop by, don't be too upset if I'm not in the mood to entertain your dumb ass, much less let you stick around. People DO have lives and routines, you know. I could be at work, I could be on vacation, I could be having some amazing sex. Whatever I've got going on, don't expect me to drop what I'm doing just because we share a few bits of DNA.
Although I don't speak to a lot of them now, I'm still very lucky they don't have my street address. *shudders*
This happened when I was fourteen. We moved from the big city out to an 80 acre farm out in the middle of nowhere (to me, anyway). It started on a Friday night; my brothers and I stayed at home while my parents went out to some crappy wedding reception which they ended up paying $50 a plate. They couldn't really afford to go out, but their friend really wanted them there. :/
While they were out, one of my uncles called the house asking for directions. No one had a fucking clue that he was coming. If my folks knew he was dropping by, they would not have gone out at all. I freaked out over directions. I was just a kid; why the hell would I be paying ANY attention to what road you get off on and such, much less have the ability to get him on the right path. I ended up giving him the wrong directions (wish it would've been on purpose).
The fun part was next: calling the parents. Yeah....Mom and Dad were super thrilled to hear this lovely bit of information. They knew I wouldn't invite him, but they were already angry about spending $100 for a crappy dinner at a reception for a friend of a friend. Plus, we were broke that weekend. At this point, I can't recall if my uncle showed up first or my parents. O_o Doesn't matter now, it was still rude and inconsiderate.
The uncle shows up with the wife, three kids AND their two dogs. Luckily, for the sake of everyone's remaining shreds of sanity, they slept in their camper.
The next morning, Mom and I went to the resort to clean cabins. When we got back, lo and behold, ANOTHER uncle shows up, with his four kids and another kid from his wife's side of the family. Counting my brothers and I, plus the three cousins from the night before, AND five more kids plus one...packet...of Kool-Aid...a complete Weekend from Hell!
Camper Uncle finally felt bad enough to go get us groceries. Yeah, that was nice of him, but advanced notice would be even nicer. I could tell that Mom was fit to be tied. She held it in as best as she could, but give the poor woman a break. The other uncle had a cabin in the area (hence, I'll call him Cabin Uncle), so no more people were sleeping there for the weekend. Sadly, it wasn't the only time relatives would drop by unannounced, but it was the worst time, given the financial dire straits we were in.
These were all Dad's siblings that were doing this crap. They all (well, almost all) lived back in the cities and apparent missed us enough to the point of treating our house like a damned resort. Which is funny, because the most time I would spend with these people is at the various holiday get-togethers. Even that was too much time with them for me....
Anyway, we did the family hang out crap during that time. I dealt with it, but I couldn't wait for them to leave. I dont know exactly what Mom and Dad said to these people afterwards, but I do know that from then on, they called first.
The moral is: have enough consideration to call ahead of time. If you don't, you'll be in for a rude awakening. If you drop by, don't be too upset if I'm not in the mood to entertain your dumb ass, much less let you stick around. People DO have lives and routines, you know. I could be at work, I could be on vacation, I could be having some amazing sex. Whatever I've got going on, don't expect me to drop what I'm doing just because we share a few bits of DNA.
Although I don't speak to a lot of them now, I'm still very lucky they don't have my street address. *shudders*
Friday, May 25, 2012
Just a little intro and a starter spew :)
Hello to everyone out there! I am a proud childfree, atheist otaku nerd. (Sounds redundant, but that's just me.) :) Since I've seen numerous blogs on subjects near and dear to other people, I thought that it was about time that I did the same. I'm mainly doing this to show you life from the view of a mid-30s college student and military vet who chooses not to follow 'conventions', i.e., marry and pop out babies by a certain age.
As much as the evidence points to this year being well into the new milenium, why do so many people STILL have the mindset of being in the 1950s? O_o Last time I checked, birth control is still an option, although if some Republicans had their way, it would be banned from this country altogether. You'd think that people choosing NOT to have kids would be a good thing at this point in time. After all, we are at 7+ billion people on this planet, we really should stop for a while.
But, I don't see that happening, due to culture dictating procreation in a lot of cases. No, it doesn't just happen in other countries, there's plenty of that general attitude right here in the States. Most of you childfree folks have encountered this numerous times. I certainly have. I usually get a lot of crap from my relatives: "Of course you should get married and have kids! It's what every woman should do!" (gag) "Don't you want to give your mom grandchildren someday?" (no, not really) "You'll change your mind when you're older." (doubtful) "They'll make your relationship stronger." (um....it's a kid, not a fucking band-aid)
You get the idea. I've lost track of the times I've had to bite my tongue out of "respect" for my relatives. :p Now that I'll be thirty-five soon, I feel no need to respect them anymore; they certainly don't care about my feelings, and my parents can no longer spank me for disrespect. ;) (There'll be plenty more relative rants coming up.) Anyway, take care, see you next time. :D
As much as the evidence points to this year being well into the new milenium, why do so many people STILL have the mindset of being in the 1950s? O_o Last time I checked, birth control is still an option, although if some Republicans had their way, it would be banned from this country altogether. You'd think that people choosing NOT to have kids would be a good thing at this point in time. After all, we are at 7+ billion people on this planet, we really should stop for a while.
But, I don't see that happening, due to culture dictating procreation in a lot of cases. No, it doesn't just happen in other countries, there's plenty of that general attitude right here in the States. Most of you childfree folks have encountered this numerous times. I certainly have. I usually get a lot of crap from my relatives: "Of course you should get married and have kids! It's what every woman should do!" (gag) "Don't you want to give your mom grandchildren someday?" (no, not really) "You'll change your mind when you're older." (doubtful) "They'll make your relationship stronger." (um....it's a kid, not a fucking band-aid)
You get the idea. I've lost track of the times I've had to bite my tongue out of "respect" for my relatives. :p Now that I'll be thirty-five soon, I feel no need to respect them anymore; they certainly don't care about my feelings, and my parents can no longer spank me for disrespect. ;) (There'll be plenty more relative rants coming up.) Anyway, take care, see you next time. :D
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